EVERYONE WANTS THE INSTAGRAM LIFE RIGHT…..
But the realiTEE is life is full of decisions- soooo many decisions. What option to choose? What if I do nothing & let life just happen? These are questions I am consistantly asking myself. Should I? Or shouldn’t I? Welcome to my daily battle….
I’m convinced it isn’t just myself that has this daily struggle and therefore have read many articles, blog posts and books on the important questions you need to ask in order to design the life you want.
The good news is there’s no need to reinvent the wheel, there are 3 questions that keep coming up in all the different content I’ve read/ listened to.
So I thought as a result I would summarise my research & share the 3 main points with you in the hopes that they will bring value into your life or business.
I’ll be real I have not found these easy and it takes a conscious effort daily to put these into practice.
So far I have focussed on my personal life & these three questions have provided me with vision & focus. I feel clarity & there is something very empowering about knowing you have made your decisions in life, not let life just happen and allowed yourself to be a victim of life.
If all this post does it get you thinking & doing your own research then I’m glad you stopped by.
Let’s get into it- shall we?:
1.) WHATS YOUR WHY:
You don’t have to share your why if you don’t want to, it can be completely personal, but it shouldn’t be anything like money. It is clear that many people in history that have only chased money have played a VERY short game! Look at the Wolf on Wall Street… yes he was filthy rich for a while but he’s why was just money and he got so carried away he didn’t look at the wider picture. I recommend you check out he’s podcast, hell tell you himself that now he’s why is to help people he is such more driven. There has to be something more meaningful. Something that gives purpose.
I have been there focused on the money and the short term & as a result made bad choices. These bad choices led to a tormented conscious & a LOT of anxiety… this is because I wasn’t being honest to myself or becoming a person I was proud of.
Your WHY is like a compass let it lead you when creating your life/business. If you don’t have a concrete WHY, you will give into things that you probably wouldn’t have given into in the first place. If you have a strong WHY when you’re hit with the hard choices you’ll have a idea of where you want to go and what you want your outcome to be. It will make choices easier & give you confidence in your decisions.
It is proven that hand writing out your WHY & looking at it daily, refer to it daily, tell your closest friends, let them hold you accountable.
My WHY is building a like-minded community. My boyfriend sparked this idea in me almost a year ago when he told me to go & find more friends who had similar interests to me… my search for like-minded people has led to me branching out in the content I consume & for the first time in my life I stayed committed to a promise I made myself & produced content for a whole year. I’ve connected with woman from around the world & I’m so grateful for that. I love hearing like-minded people coming together sharing their tips & tricks in an unapologetic way. It’s amazing what you can learn if you stay open minded & un-judgemental.
2.) DECIDE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE:
Let’s face it leaving a bad day at the office and coming home a bundle of joy is not a natural human trait. I really struggle to not take something personal especially when I’ve poured my heart & soul into a project. My boss & I recently sat & had a long discussion about this, it turns out he also reads the Daily stoic & he’s advice was to acknowledge that people are hard on the task not the person. My boyfriend is very good at this, app& when annoyed or agree he’s very good at addressing a issue and consciously moving on. He’s fabulous at not holding a grudge & this is something I’m really trying to learn from him.
Back to the point: what kind of life makes you happy?
Get as creative as you’d like here, write it down, draw it if you’d like. Create a strategic future by design. My boyfriend is a fan of having a year, 3 year & 5 year plan. List systems to get to your goals. To do lists. Habits. It’s all good stuff.
Here’s the caveat…. don’t get tied down by the plan. The outcome is key but you need to be flexible. I get so tied down with the plan & experience stress & anxiety at new levels when something I can’t control goes wrong. I always have to take a moment, breath & remind myself ‘the best laid plans of mice & men’
As for the kind of life I’m creating for myself is simple: freedom. Freedom to come & go as I please, to travel to the far corners of the world whenever I want. Freedom to provide for myself without the panic of not knowing if I’ll have money left at the end of the month. Freedom to DO ME unapologeticly.
Freedom to me represents a peaceful & happy life.
I also believe that this goal helps my relationships. I’ve been stuck in a relationship where I was dependent on the other person & I felt resentful.
Knowing that I don’t need my boyfriend I chose to be with him because he makes my life better makes me value him so much more & I’m grateful everyday. This doesn’t just go for my boyfriend, there is no one in my life I am dependent on. The people I keep close to me & engage with regularly are people that I want to surround myself with.
Getting to this realisation wasn’t that easy, a lot of people will tell you they want freedom but that looks different to everyone & what has driven you to that desire will be completely different to mine.
I started with a list of things that were important to me and for each one I asked myself why 5 times… & almost everything on that list lead to freedom for me.
You get the drift.
Spend some time on this one. Write out a list of what makes you happy & a list of what makes you sad…then simply do more of what makes you happy.
3.) OTHERS SUCCESS DOESN’T TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR HARD WORK:
THIS IS SOMETHING we are all guilty of.
Whether you scroll through Instagram & wish that was your life or you’ve sat there and thought ‘I’m so behind in life, Sandra is married with kids at 30 and I’m still living at home.’
As long as you have your WHY & your END GOAL then you’re on your track!
Let Sandra do Sandra.
Let Billy do Billy.
& Janet’s new outfit every time you meet for cocktails…. not your business!
Becoming obsessed with other people’s lives is NOT SERVING YOU! It doesn’t effect your actions & your output.
It just doesn’t. Drop the judgement.
We are all a work in progress.
We are all diamonds in the rough.
For me I’ve never understood the race to finish line, because there is no finish line. If there was it would be boring when you got there anyway.
Imagine never growing or learning anything else…
What I want to learn & work on are completely different priorities than my cousin who wants to achieve so much. It’s okay that we want to learn & growing different ways.
I wish her all the best & I’m so proud but her growth doesn’t make me any less of a human.
However this is difficult at times when you feel like everyone is running off & you’re stationery. I have moments where I will literally catch myself before I wreck myself.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
So I hope this not so brief post has provided some perspective & helps you to gain some clarity.
Stay in YOUR own lane. Focus on YOU. Go towards YOUR goal. Stop looking around, Who cares what everyone else is doing?
Make your choices. Own them. Define them.
Honey just do you….