So you know how I love to talk wellness on Wednesdays & today is no different. I consider wellness to be an element of beauty as without a balanced life how can you really shine? You can’t reach your full potential, if you can it’s a tiring struggle. Today I want to talk about confidence, & what it means to you. Let’s face it, confidence is essential.
Firstly whether you love to strut around like a VS model in a pair of sexy heels or you prefer the more hippy chic look and wear your kicks everywhere. I don’t care if you wear tight mini skirts and low cut tops, or if you love a onesie and never want to come out or if you are one of those girls that live head to toe in their gym wear. YOU ARE RIGHT. What ever makes you feel confident, what ever makes you feel your best and flatters you. YOU ARE RIGHT. Not fitting into a stereotype does not make you less of a woman (or man, or whichever gender you relate to) & if you haven’t figured out what makes you hold your head up high like a badass boss have some fun working it out. Personally I love a dark edgy look with tight jeans and a pair of statement heels as much as I love a denim mini skirt, t-shirt and pumps. You can dress everything up or down so it’s all about finding your balance. Now to own it…
Why you should own it? When you’re feeling more confident it shows. Like really shows through, it’s in your walk, it shines through your pores, it’s the slight change in the tone of your voice. AND it’s contagious. Genuine confidence is contagious, people are attracted to that kind of energy, but it has to be genuine if you try too hard people will pick up on that & you’ll come across more annoying than confidence. (But that’s not to say you shouldn’t fake it- see below).
Confidence looks good on everyone!
Okay I get that all of this is much easier said than done… in today’s society we have more anxious surroundings than ever before, and that’s just by unlocking your phone. One thing I hear repeated over and over again is ‘I’m so self conscious in the gym I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging.’
Please please PLEASE… stop looking around the gym and judging people. Because I can grantee the 99% of the people in the gym are there to be themselves and the best version of that they can be. Which brings me to my next point, & one I’ve mentioned a few times lately in different forms but it’s so true and the secret to beauty. We are all unique, you are the only you out there. Just do you & own it.
Here are a few of the things that help boost my confidence when I most need it;
1) Always be grateful – Simple but efficient. If you stop & think about it there is always something to be grateful for. Walking into your first fitness class ever… no everyone can do that and you should be grateful you found the strength to get out of your comfort zone & go for it. There’s something to be said for stopping to smell the roses (or even the rosé). Smile. Laugh. Enjoy life. Today I’m grateful for family, friends, boyfriend, my car, spinach pasta, my favourite trainers & the ability to read & write. Below is a book on confidence that I loved, and was so surprised at how many badass woman out there lack it.
2) Do you- okay this is something I struggled with for soooo many years. I was so focussed on what everyone else was doing, wearing, eating, was I doing it right? OMG The stress it takes to live like this, the anxiety the pressure. I got to a point where I would make myself so ill, it just wasn’t worth it. Do you and forget what everyone else is doing. Evolve at your own speed, what feels right and natural for you. Push yourself to do better against yourself. I love the saying ‘if you judge a fish on it’s ability to climb a tree you’ll never know how intelligent it is.’ This is because we are all different, all unique. Being you is a superpower, embrace it.
3) Get fancy – I love love love dressing up, the hair the makeup the right outfit, splash of lipstick. Who am I making all this effort for? Well me! I deserve to look good for me. & so do you. Now please don’t think I take hours and hours to get ready, time is not a luxury I often possess & even when I do I much prefer to be out out having fun then getting ready. Some basic moisturiser (with an SPF obviously) bit of foundation or a CC cream with some thick luscious lashes, thick brows and a tinted lip balm with a badass outfit and you’ll be amazed at how great you feel 40 minutes later. Find a look that suits your style, keep it flattering & dress for you! I brought the below dress last year and everyone I showed it to before hand had reservations but I knew it would look fabulous… (thank you ASOS).
4) Break free- breaking out of your comfort zone is something I wrote about here. It’s a real confidence booster when you realise how far exactly you’ve come. ALWAYS step out of your comfort zone, even if it’s just one small thing. Recently my cousin & I attended a networking event for woman. Neither of us knew what to expect & had both considered dropping out, we didn’t, we went along & actually really enjoyed it. It may be scary as hell, but once you’re out of that comfort zone you’ll see and you’ll want to keep moving forward. Break through one zone at a time.
5) Keep it positive- No matter what, always try and keep it positive. Even with the words you are using, I do this more and more and it’s slowly becoming a natural habit. Instead of saying ‘I hope nothing goes wrong’ try ‘I’m sure it will all go to plan’ Focus on putting that positive energy out there, and it will also tell your brain to be more positive. As I said earlier you can’t fake confidence but you can do things to help trick yourself into believing it and by the time you realise you were faking it it may no longer be fake. I honestly thought for well over a year that I had no idea how to do my job, that I was just faking it and one day someone would call me into the office and sack me. Turns out that by going to work each day and trying to figure it out and doing my best, I actually learnt how to do my job without ever shadowing anyone.
Now your turn… What do you do to feel more confident?